How To Gray Rock A Narcissist: 5 Simple Techniques That Work

3 mn read

The best way to deal with a narcissist is to completely cut off all the contacts with them, block them from all the platforms and avoid having any kind of in-person conversations. In short, becoming completely unavailable is the best way to deal with a narcissist and keep the inner soul calm and at peace. However, this method may not work in every case and every time.

If the narcissist is someone close to you, like your relative, close friend or even a parent, it is best to apply the grey rock method. Even if they are criticising you, finding flaws in you, pointing problems and making you realize your insecurities, grey rocking is the answer. Although it could be hurtful for you or them but eliminating conversation completely may not be the answer to them as well. 

Gray Rock Method

To be short, the gray rock method is becoming a dull, unresponsive and grey rock in front of the narcissistic person so that you can draw a healthy boundary in order to remain grounded and keep a safe distance from psychological abuse.

So how not to feed the drama of a narcissistic personality and what simple techniques could be used in grey rock method? Let’s explore them all.

Using Gray Rock Techniques:

1. Recognize When To Use It & When To Avoid It

You might have recognized that your loved ones like friends, family members or someone close to you have narcissistic tendencies and you simply want to cut off all the ties instantly. Unfortunately, you cannot do so instantly despite their manipulative attitude. Here, you can use the grey rock method to make all the conversations go dull and uninteresting. They would try to ignite a fire in between later but you need to keep it all low.

Ultimately, the conversation would completely lose out its charm and become uninteresting. They would also stop trying to keep the conversation going later. In case, you have to maintain a contact with them for whatsoever reason, make sure that you keep it very straight and to-the-point. It shall not stimulate them to take any other interesting step further.

2. Do Not Offer Them Anything

It is interesting to know that toxic, narcissistic and manipulative people love to enjoy conflict and thrill. In case you want to show them that you are just not interested, show it in your responses. When they ask you questions, you even don’t need to say a yes or a no, but use responses like ‘hmmm’ or ‘huh’ to cut the conversation short.


Some toxic people may even want to leave you with open ended questions so that they can manipulate you easily. For example, what’s your opinion about the new rules made by the Vice President of the office? You certainly just need to shrug your shoulders and reply with an ‘eh’ and move away. 


3. Showing Disengagement

Psychologists recommend that you should try to avoid any eye-contact with the person you want to disconnect with. It is because eye contact is capable of making emotional connection and initiating interaction. If you focus on something else or look somewhere else, it shows detachment and disengagement. 


If you are not able to focus on anything else or distract yourself in the moment, try to mentally engage yourself in some other place. For example, think of your favorite place you want to travel next or have traveled recently or think about the person whom you miss and love. The more you are engrossed in something else, the better disengagement you would see.


4. Avoid Telling Them What You Are Upto

You should never tell a manipulative person that you are avoiding them. It is because you want to make them lose interest in you on their own and become dull on very own purpose. Treat them as a stranger and show no emotional connection from your end. If you feel guilty or find any regrets, tell yourself that there is no need to share any information with them or show love towards them. 


5. No Need To Diminish Yourself

When you are gray rocking yourself, it doesn’t mean that you completely diminish yourself from the world out there. This method is all about diminishing your feelings and emotions and it may even make you feel disconnecting from your own feelings. There is no need to hide yourself from the world there. If anything like self-dissociation is happening, consider speaking to a counselor or a therapist. 


Explain it to your therapist that you are having trouble connecting with yourself and with those who are actually important to you. Sometimes it even becomes difficult to express positively to those around you and you seem like losing your identity completely. You may even seem to change your appearance for a short period of time like wearing plain clothes, putting no makeup on and showing less self-care. Explain it all to the counselor or therapist for soul-relief.



We are hopeful that these simple techniques will help you gray rock a narcissistic personality without adding stress to your own mind and body. Do you agree with us on this? Share your views and opinion in the comments section below.


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